An abridged list of what has brought me sanity during a global pandemic

Perhaps you’ve noticed the world is on fire. Sometimes literally. Probably always literally, but I don’t exactly track the state of fires in my day-to-day existence. I mean, global warming is a thing but that doesn’t necessarily mean a literal fire, I don’t think.

In case it was not clear, this blog should not be a primary source on any scientific topics.

Anyway, if there’s anything the global pandemic taught us, is that perhaps too much of our sanity is tied to making a Target run. (Or was that just me…?). Or, if we’re being a little more specific, we learned a bunch of new techniques to maintain our sanity.

Pre-pandemic, we had a lot of things filling our time. Commuting, shopping, whatever you might do to fill your free time outside the home (for me: boxing and living in coffee shops while I write). Perhaps some of these things have come back at least a bit in some capacity. While I’m still not going out shopping much (except Barnes and Noble because they own my heart), I am back to commuting (though a lot less). But at the beginning of the pandemic and to a certain extent still now while we are still in the pandemic but with more miserable moral decision making, we had to come up with new ways to fill our suddenly empty hours. No more going out to bars. No more hour long commutes. Everything being done from home.

And if you’re like me, your sanity started to…uh…slip a little bit.

Now, certainly some of that was due to the stress of a GLOBAL PANDEMIC (who would’ve thunk it?).But of course, there’s a whole bunch of complexities that come out of that situation to create the the MASSIVE ANXIETY MONSTER inside you that encourages you to eat pizza and drink all your Kraken brand rum.

Just me?

For me, in addition to being anxious constantly about the state of things to do with the pandemic, I also was not used to writing from home (coffee shop writing is very special to me…and stops a kitten from nipping at my ankles because I’m not paying attention to him). I also couldn’t go to my boxing club (but then…where does the rage go?). And I have clinical anxiety on a good day.

This meant I had to try a lot of different things to help me maintain my sanity during the global pandemic. Otherwise, the stress agitated my clinical anxiety and I paced around my couch for a literal hour while listening to a podcast (true story). I even looked up lists of hobbies for ideas! But they didn’t usually help.

So I figured my own list of hobbies that I discovered! I’ll admit, they’re a bit more niche and super specific but maybe they’ll offer you some new things to try too. So here it is: my abridged list of what has brought me sanity during a global pandemic.

1. Rooster Teeth (with special shoutouts to Squad Team Force and Achievement Hunter)

I will never be able to describe suitably how important Rooster Teeth was in maintaining my sanity during the pandemic. The best way I can describe Rooster Teeth is an entertainment content creation company specializing in video games. You may have heard of them as the creators of the popular series of Red Vs. Blue. Pre-pandemic, I was already a huge fan of Achievement Hunter and RWBY was already my favorite show. I already subscribed to Rooster Teeth as a FIRST member. However, I started enjoying TONS more of their content during the pandemic.

I got into the habit of watching Rooster Teeth content literally ALL DAY to stave off the silence of working from home. I would turn on RTTV (Rooster Teeth TV) and just let it run in the background. Which meant I got a whole sampling of all their content. They would stream most days of the week (still do). I started regularly watching the Rooster Teeth Podcast and Off Topic Podcast live. I became a fan of Rooster Teeth Core just as they rebranded to Squad Team Force. I got to enjoy RTX (Rooster Teeth Convention) when they went virtual in 2020 and 2021 to the point that I REALLY want to attend in person when I can.

Honestly, the biggest thing Rooster Teeth has done for me during the pandemic was help me feel less alone. I got to listen to other people vent and discuss what was going on in the world and then turn it around and make each other laugh. I needed both. And I don’t think I’ll ever be fully describe how important Rooster Teeth has been in helping me maintain some semblance of sanity during this extremely stressful time.

2. Bella Grace Magazine

Like was the case with Rooster Teeth, I was a fan of Bella Grace magazine pre-pandemic. The magazine’s goal is to “discover magic in ordinary moments.” They specialize in observations of hygge and the beauty of simple things. But the magazine took on special significance during the pandemic to the point that I actually purchased a subscription for the first time.

The magazine allowed me time to slow down and reflect on what was important to me. It forced me to confront the fact that maybe we make life more complicated than it needs to be.

3. Speedruns of video games (from Games Done Quick)

I adore video games but I am not under any impression that I am good at them. I’m playing my way through Celeste right now, which keeps count of your deaths and…yeah, it’s kind of entertaining. Which makes speed runs of video games especially amazing to watch.

Speed runners are game players that do more than just go fast in a particular game. There are entire communities dedicated to identifying the speediest routes, exploiting pixel-perfect imperfections, and considering how best to implement known glitches to make the game go faster. It requires an immense amount of practice and research and it is incredible to watch.

For years now, I’ve always been interested in video game glitches and hidden Easter eggs in video games, which are little secrets developers leave in games that can be just a fun joke or a massive lore drop. Watching speed runners play video games scratches that itch for me. I love understanding how video games get developed and the unintended consequences of those choices. And it’s mesmerizing to watch a community express such joy in the uncovering of these things.

Games Done Quick is the main place I go for speed runs. They often organize massive events in order to raise money for charity, often over a million dollars at a single event. A few of my go-tos:

• Any Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past runs from player Andy, including the randomizer

• Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask run by MajinPhil

• Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy’s Kong Quest runs, especially from V0oid (also DKC trilogy relay)

• Super Mario World runs, especially races

4. Animal Crossing: New Horizons

I played the original Animal Crossing for Nintendo Gamecube back when it came out years ago. I enjoyed the game, liked the concept but it didn’t have a longevity for me. Once I paid off my in-game loan, it felt like there were no new goals to achieve and I lost interest. So when I heard about the new Animal Crossing: New Horizons game on its way, I thought the game looked solid but not for me.

But then the game ended up being released during a global pandemic.

At first, that didn’t change anything for me. I still remembered too firmly my experience with the original game and I didn’t want to spend money on something that would offer me a few hours of distraction at most. However, like I mentioned before, I spent a lot of time watching Rooster Teeth, known for its gameplay content. When the new Animal Crossing game came out, it seemed like everyone there was streaming the game. For a while, I looked forward to the streams of Gus and Jon rating Animal Crossing island. I adored watching Outside Xbox and Outside Xtra on YouTube explore the islands of the team members. And noticing how much joy I got just from watching the gameplay and needing the distraction, I decided it was worth it.

It so was.

I will say I play the game a lot less now than when it first came out. But it was such a charming, calming distraction. It made my world feel bigger than just my home. I got to go fishing! And carefully design the landscape of my island! And go diving! When the DLC was released a few months ago, I bought it. It sparked gentle creativity in me and brought me peace during chaos.

5. Simple puzzle games (notably Sudoku, 2048, and Picocross)

Yes, I am the girl who owns 5 Sudoku books. I owned two of them pre-pandemic. It’s especially funny because I remember not being good at Sudoku in middle school when teachers would hand the puzzles out to keep us busy. I love the way Sudoku keeps my mind busy and gives me something to do when I watch Youtube and Rooster Teeth (I can’t sit still). During the pandemic, I also added the game of Picocross on Nintendo Switch and 2048 to my repertoire as an excuse to listen to more podcasts. I love simple puzzle games that are easy to play but hard to master.

6. Nature

The ability to go out in nature enabled me to remain human during the pandemic. It was amazing how much weight lifted from me when I went out to the parks around me. I hadn’t owned hiking shoes since middle school and during the pandemic, I bought two pairs. Plus I finally acquired my bike (it had still been living in my parents’ garage) and used it to explore the trails as well.

Nature allowed me to slow down. To get away from distractions and just exist. I’ve mentioned this as part of my write up of “lessons from the pandemic” but I don’t think I can ever explain enough how important it is to go out in nature.

7. Super organizing! (I blame Marie Condo and The Home Edit)

When your entire world becomes your home, you set out on a mission to make it PERFECT. I spent weekdays sorting through my closet and Saturday nights digging through Etsy for hours. I bought a new bookshelf and repurposed an old one (and got rid of a third). I drove to three different locations to sell or donate old stuff. I reorganized my kitchen cabinets then did it again (although that second time, hot sauce fell from my top cabinet to my floor and I had a LOT to clean up…).

The results were unreal. My bookshelves match now and look a bit like built-ins (which has always been a dream of mine). I actually have space in my closet. I have storage drawers once overflowing and now empty. It got to the point that I started asking my mom if there was anything I could help her organize because I ran out of things in my own home.

Yeah, I’m weird.

But it brought me so much joy and cleared out some of the chaotic energy in my brain that is brought up from that passive worry that you have something you need to get done. I mean, if you’re going to live in the space, it might as well be a space you want to live in.

8. Internet mysteries (including ARGs)

I am a total scaredy cat. I once watched a Goosebumps film about living dummies and it changed my sleeping habits for a solid 2 years. So as you can guess, I tend to give horror a pretty wide berth.

Or…I did.

During the pandemic (and even sometimes prior the pandemic), I dove into the world of Internet mysteries and ARGs (alternate reality games). And when I say “dove in,” I mean I watched YouTube videos and listened to podcasts. So safe distance. I started listening to the podcast Red Web from Rooster Teeth (of course) hosted by Trevor Collins and Alfredo Diaz of Achievement Hunter (also of course). They’ve covered topics like the Happy Valley Dream Survey, Cicada 3301, and South32. Meanwhile, the Theorist network on Youtube run by MatPat (which includes channels like GT Live, Game Theory, and Film Theory) digs into horror games and analog horror like Local 58.

Weirdly, considering the fact that I’m a scaredy cat, these topics fascinate me. I love learning about how people solved ARGs by digging through the source code of websites and reversing audio. I love being intrigued by analog horror storytelling that makes me think about new storytelling techniques.

Though, to be fair, I’m generally careful to enjoy this content while the sun is up.

9. Twitch.TV Content Creators (DooleyNotedGaming, ChilledChaos, AlfredoPlays, and JonRisinger shout OUT)

I didn’t really watch much Twitch content pre-pandemic. That’s not to say I didn’t watch video game content prior to the pandemic; that would be such a huge lie that the prospect is laughable. But I jumped onto Twitch when I realized some of my favorite creators were making content there. And once I started watching content there, I was hooked.

I spent New Years Eve 2020 watching DooleyNotedGaming and KDoolz (Jeremy and Kat Dooley) stream Stardew Valley and it was genuinely such a great way to spend the night.

On a night with bad anxiety, I tuned into JonRisinger streaming himself painting along with a Bob Ross episode. And then I won the painting in a giveaway! (It’s super pretty and I have it hung up in my home).

I looked forward to Saturday where AlfredoPlays (Alfredo Diaz) hosted Among Us nights. And I would often jump in to the Among Us streams run by ChilledChaos.

Basically, I was just very thankful to find joyful streamers to enjoy and remind me that some of the biggest joys in life are actually very simple.

10. Game nights with friends (Jackbox.TV is a magical creation)

I’m so glad my friend reached out to me and asked if we might try a virtual game night (Dan, you are a brilliant man). Because I’m the technical one of my friend group, I figured out how to make it happen and usually about once a month, I would host a game night through Discord where we played a bunch of Jackbox games.

I am so thankful for those nights. Those nights where we played and made terrible jokes and vented our woes. I’m so glad to have had the ability to sustain such important friends at a time where we couldn’t be together in person.

11. Podcasts (the ones I haven’t got to mention yet)

I’ve already mentioned Red Web as one of the podcasts that kept me sane (as much as a podcast about scary mysteries can), as well as the Rooster Teeth podcast and the Off Topic podcast. But that’s not tall! Let’s name drop some more that I’ve loved:

• The Cult Podcast - Yup, it’s a podcast about cults. I swept through this podcast like it was an addiction. It kind of was. But in addition to being a podcast about cults, it’s hosted by comedians who look for ways to make things light without making light of those who suffered within the cult. It’s fascinating.

• Welcome to Nightvale - This is a fictional podcast about a small desert town in the southwest United States. It’s got a bit of the same vibe as Local 58 that I mentioned earlier (which explains why I’m fascinated by Local 58…). It’s funny and peculiar. And all you need to know is that dogs are not permitted inside the dog park.

• Writing Excuses - A fantastic podcast about writing that a former coworker recommended to me and it’s great. In addition to being chock full of writing info, it also takes a realistic perspective on the field and the different paths your career might take. If you’re a writer, definitely add this to your list.
  

12. Acknowledging my feelings that this sucks.

I can’t lie: as much as I had a million and one coping mechanisms throughout the pandemic that allowed me to grip the last shred of my sanity, there were just days that were bad. Days where I walked in circles. Days where I sat down and cried. Days where I would walk into my bedroom and scream into a pillow.

Sometimes, I would tell myself not to fret, that there was plenty to do even when life was limited by the pandemic. But sometimes, that didn’t matter. Sometimes, the world is just a scary place and you don’t know how to deal with it all. And I had to learn it’s okay to acknowledge that pandemics are not fun things to live through.

But through it all, one quote has stuck with me, from The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien, and I think it fits here:

Frodo: I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.

Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.

Yes, this time of global pandemic has been challenging. And sometimes, coping mechanisms only get you so far. It’s okay to break down, to lose your grip on sanity for a little bit. But there is hope beyond it. And I hope that this list gives you some new ideas when you need a new task to help you tighten your grip.

Works Cited:

Tolkien, J. R. R. The Lord of the Rings. HarperCollins, 1991.

As I am a novelist, you would think my favorite stories are in books. You would be wrong.

I read a lot of books. A LOT of books. As we’ve discussed before, I read over 100 books back in 2021 and I average around 50 books in a normal year. But here’s the thing…

I don’t think I’m a writer because of books.

*insert gasp here*

This has actually grown clearer and clearer to me the longer I’ve spent querying my books. Querying is basically a cover letter for writers through which a writer pitches their book to a literary agent. Often times, as part of that letter, you include “comp titles” for your book. These are meant to give an agent a better sense of how your book might market, even before they’ve read a word of your manuscript. For example, you might say that your book is The Shining meets Jane Eyre.

See? You kind of have to read that book now.

And it’s identifying comp titles for my own works that have helped me further enforce the fact that I am usually inspired as a writer by anything that isn’t a book. Because, wow, is it hard for me to identify comp titles when I’m writing query letters and pitches.

Now, to be clear, I’m in good company on this. I don’t think most writers find it easy to identify comp titles, in the same way that most writers don’t love querying. You’re trying to put a sprawling wild dream into a box, and it’s hard—but necessary, if you want to publish traditionally. It’s the business part of writing. However, the fact that it was hard to identify good comp titles surprised me. Why?

Because I regularly identify stories that are like my own. They just aren’t books.

They’re video games and TV shows. They’re songs sometimes. Or poems, even. They are nonfiction stories sometimes, fragments of news stories (how dare real life steal my imaginary idea no one has heard anything about!). In many cases, my stories fit more neatly into manga or anime because I watched and read so much of that as a child without really realizing how much they influenced my creativity and how different those stories were from more westernized adventures!

(Do you think I could explain the concept of “magical girl” to a literary agent without frightening them?)

It also continues to surprise me what sorts of stories that inspire me to get up and write. It’s so rarely my favorite books. I re-read all of The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater last year, which is my favorite series. But what made me jump up and need to start writing was Weathering With You which is a beautiful anime feature length film. I read the absolutely intriguing The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab back in 2020 and though I can’t stop thinking about it, it was the series I Am Not Okay With This on Netflix that drove me to revisit a story of mine I thought I had abandoned.

That’s not to say I don’t love the stories in books. I wouldn’t have two bookshelves if that wasn’t true. I wouldn’t read over 100 books in a year if that wasn’t true. I’ve dressed up as a book character for Halloween, I’ve had a friend steal a library book from me for the day so she could read it first, I want to be a novelist, for crying out loud! Specifically a novelist, not a screenwriter.

But stories happen everywhere.

Once upon a time, I had a professor in a writing course tell the class that, basically, video game writing wasn’t real writing. Um…what? No. Storytelling is all around us. Even if you’re not a reader, you are probably still in love with some sort of storytelling or another.

I may want to be a novelist, but the stories that sing to a part of my soul and make me want to be a writer are rarely books. I’m more likely to see something on a screen and go: that. How do I translate that feeling into a book. I love storytelling in books but they rarely make me itch to write.

Unfortunately, that means identifying comp titles will always be a challenge for me. But it does mean I’m writing for the things that make my soul sing.

So to wrap up this blog post today, here’s a list of some my favorite not-novels that make me want to write:

• I Am Not Okay With This (Netflix show - I believe it’s based on a comic)

• Weathering with You (anime film)

• Your Name (anime film)

• Gris (video game)

• Hamilton (musical)

• folklore and evermore by Taylor Swift (albums)

• RWBY (animated web series)

• Steven Universe (animated series)

• The Last Five Years (musical)

• Torchwood (TV show)

• What Sarah Said by Death Cab for Cutie (song)

• Tsubasa: Recevoir Chronicle (manga - which is technically a book so…)

• Sonic X Season 3 (TV show) & Sonic Adventure 2 (video game) (I would be remiss to ignore how much fan fiction taught me how to write!)

• The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past (video game)

• Final Fantasy XIII (video game)

• Persona 5 (anime)

Life is defined by innocuous things (alt title: video games are important)

I grew up during an interesting age for video games. My household included a Super Nintendo console, though the industry had released consoles like the Nintendo 64 by the time I really tried holding a controller in my hands. While I was in grade school, the industry released consoles like the Playstation 2. Today, in my home, if I pause to count the consoles and handhelds and computers on which I can play video games, I come up with 9, including my gaming computer—and not the other computers I don’t game on.

What I mean to say is that I grew up through a great deal of change and formation in the gaming industry. When I was born, we played with 16-bits. By the time I graduated high school, incremental changes in graphics had gone from “transformational” to “oh, that’s cool.” Which is a significant difference when, as a kid, you were used to playing around the glitches and not letting the blockiness of character models deter from the story (I may have never played Final Fantasy VII, but I feel like those players in particular know what I’m talking about).

It was only as I grew older that I realized that video games didn’t hold a central role in everyone’s life. As a kid, it seemed the central topic in every ‘kids having fun’ conversation and every controversial one as well. It seemed like, when I was a child, I was hearing constantly about “rationing kids on video games” and “video games are violent and will change your children” and that these verses took on a constant presence in my life.

Of course, I lived in the house that had Doom II available (though not actually played by the children, just to be clear), so that second part came mostly from the outside.

It was a strange growth I went under to realize that video games didn’t hold such a central place in every child’s life. Sure, maybe not the adults in my life when I was young, the adults who waxed poetic about a weekend playing Atari and then moved on to other hobbies, but surely the kids had to have been involved in some portion of video game lore. It seemed like every friend I had in my neighborhood played video games. One house was for Sega. Another had Playstation. We had Nintendo. Wasn’t every household like that?

Strangely, this was a revelation to me in middle school and high school when I realized most of my friends hardly played video games at all. Those that had a console had started with a Nintendo Wii and only played occasionally. And I…just…

Guys, I basically malfunctioned.

If you feel the last comment is a bit melodramatic, I agree. But it comes back to the concept of how bewildering it can be to learn that another person lives a life completely different from yours. You are unsettled to learn that the way you’re living isn’t the only way to live. We all go through such a revelation for one reason or another. My reason just happened to be over a concept as trivial as video games.

There’s a reason for that: because my life was so much defined by video games. It continues to be through this day. Because I have critical memories wrapped around video games.

As a child under the age of five, I remember watching my dad play the game The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past for Super Nintendo. Because we didn’t understand the naming conventions of the game, it was decided to name the playable character (normally known as Link) Amy instead, which pleased me immensely. It is such an important memory to me of being specifically with my dad when I was very little.

While I was an elementary school, my brother and his friend were playing Super Mario Sunshine for Nintendo Gamecube. However, they were young enough that they weren’t proficient readers and the character F.L.O.O.D. was providing them critical instructions. I was watching from the back of the room and so read the instructions for them and enabled them to continue playing.

Then there was the day my brother declared he was going to play a beloved game of both of us and beat the entire thing in a day. It resulted in video game playing until midnight, complete with sarcastic commentary that I wrote down and still have.

I remember that the moment when my grandpa passed away, my brother and I were pouring over the player’s guide to Harvest Moon: Magical Melody.

My junior year of college was marked by watching Markiplier play Five Night’s at Freddy’s and my senior year of college was marked by his playing of Until Dawn. Back in my freshman year of college, I have a distinct memory of playing Slender with two friends during what was supposed to be a finals study party and getting jump-scared so bad I screamed and fell to the floor, much to the entertainment of others.

The beginning of the pandemic was marked by playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons.

Video games are the foundation on which I’ve built my memories. They give me a firm foundation I can wrap feelings around. Remember the feeling of peace? That was burying yourself in Animal Crossing when anxiety raged at the beginning of the pandemic. Remember joy? That was how hard you laughed with your brother when he tried to beat a game in a night and comedy ensued.

Remember the complex twist of feelings that is joy when you are trying to distract yourself from the despair of losing someone you love? Thank you Harvest Moon.

My love of video games taught me that that life is so much defined by innocuous things. As a society, we get caught up in climbing mountains, celebrating graduations and birthdays as the only way to track time. But life is so much what happens in quiet moments. It is in the building that we are made. Most of our lives happens there, after all.

Video games and books and movies are entertainment and distraction and so much more. They are the translation tools we use to understand ourselves.

It fascinates me that if the research on violence in video games held it’s full weight, I should have been affected. I watched my dad play Doom II before I was able to read, after all. In high school, I couldn’t get enough of Borderlands. I should have learned violence, right? But instead, all I learned was love.

Love of my family. And my friends. Sometimes myself.

I learned the concept that love is stronger than hate and fear (thank you, Sonic the Hedgehog franchise).

I learned the joy of a simple life filled with love (thank you, Animal Crossing and Stardew Valley and Harvest Moon).

I learned the beauty of storytelling that sweeps your breath away and drowns you (thank you The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past and Final Fantasy XIII).

I learned the fascination that is being scared and solving puzzles and riddles (thank you Five Nights at Freddy’s franchise—and Markiplier and MatPat of GTLive for playing the games so I didn’t have to).

My life has so much been defined by playing video games. Perhaps that sounds silly, treasuring a concept as playful as video games in such a manner, but my heart swells with warmth when I think about video games and the memories attached with them. It reminds me how important art really is. All this to say…

if you need any recommendations for good games to play, I’m sure I can help you find one.